Money Will Wreck Your Relationships – If You Let It

Let’s talk about money and relationships.

Today, we’’re looking at two of the biggest keys to our happiness – money and relationships.

In fact, if someone enjoys their money and relationship situations…

… then it’s safe to say that; that person will be joyful and excited about their life, as a whole.

Right now, we’re in the first section of Page 25, under the title ‘Relating With Money – Nerds and Free Spirits Unite’, in Chapter 2 of Dave Ramsey’s Complete Guide to Money.

And here’s my lesson for the day:

Money can bless or wreck our friendships and relationships – what we get as outcomes depend on our actions.

So far, throughout Chapter 1, we’ve talked about money as a stand-alone tool for generating wealth and having financial peace.

But, for all practical purposes, money hardly ever stands alone.

And, come to think of it, a lot of things that we think of as independent tools are truly not independent.

For example:

  • Money is connected to friendships – which is why you see a friendship of over 20 years go down the drain, because someone couldn’t pay back the debt they owe their friend
  • Money is connected to parenting – which is why you see many college graduates and kids in their twenties develop low self-worth and go into depression, because their parents won’t stop giving them ‘monthly stipends’
  • Money is connected to marriages – which is why you see partners with conflicting money styles struggle to be on the same page, if they don’t take practical steps to resolve those struggles
  • Money is connected to divorce – which is why Marriage.com rates financial troubles as the second biggest cause of divorce in America, right after infidelity

And before you start thinking money is some sort of necessary evil that’s behind these heart breaking situations, let me say this…

… various aspects in our lives really work together as a complete whole, and not in compartments as we think.

For example, a great sex life (Sex)… can mean better romantic relationship between a couple (Romance)

… which can lead to better money decisions / arguments (Money) … which can lead to lower blood pressures and healthy eating habits (Health)

which can lead to better mental health conditions (Mental Health)… which can lead to better religious connections with God (Faith)

… which can lead to raising stable, kind, well-adjusted kids (Parenting)… and on and on.

So, you see how different ‘compartments’ in life work together to make and shape us, both as an individual and as a couple.

But there’s just something about money that we need to talk about…

… other than the fact that this website is all about money and personal finance…

… and that is: how money and relationships mess with each other.

In this first section of this Chapter 2, Dave wants us to think deeply about our relationships (spouses, kids, friends, family, in-laws, co-workers, and so forth)…

… and to start seeing how money has shaped our relationships with these people over the years.

  • If you’re married, how has money affected your relationship with your spouse?
  • If you’re a single adult, how has money shaped the relationships you’ve built with your family, co-workers, friends, and other connections?
  • If you’re a parent, how has money influenced your relationships with your kids?
  • Across your friendships and relationships, how has money brought you closer to people, or created a wedge between you and those you love?

I tell you: these are hard questions that we need to ponder on, so we can masterfully navigate that delicate balance between money and relationships.

Because, according to Dave: “Bad relationships cause money messes, and money messes cause bad relationships.”

And since money and relationships are two excellent tools by themselves, we know we can combine both to achieve amazing outcomes.

Why?

Because our money-relationship outcomes depend very much on the efforts we put in. Or stated differently:

Money can bless or wreck our friendships and relationships – what we get as outcomes depend on our actions.

That’s all for today, my friend. We’ll continue in the second section of Page 25 of the book tomorrow.

See you then.

-DD

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